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Polygamy has been
practiced by mankind for thousands of years. Many of
the ancient Israelites were polygamous, some having
hundreds of wives. King
Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to have had seven
hundred wives
and three hundred concubines. David (Dawood) had ninety-nine
and Jacob (Yacub, peace be upon them both) had four.
Advice given
by some Jewish wise men state that no man should marry
more than four wives. No early society put any
restrictions on the number of wives or put any
conditions about how they were to be treated. Jesus
was not known to have spoken against polygamy. As
recently as the seventeenth century, polygamy was
practiced and accepted by the Christian Church. The
Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)
has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United
States.
Monogamy
was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul
when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was
done in order for the church to conform to the
Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous but owned
many slaves who were free for them to use: in other
words, unrestricted polygamy.
Early
Christians invented ideas that women were "full of
sin" and man was better off to "never
marry." Since this would be the end of mankind
these same people compromised and said "marry only
one."
In the
American society many times when relations are strained,
the husband simply deserts his wife. The he cohabits
with a prostitute or other immoral woman without
marriage. Actually there are three kinds of polygamy
practiced in Western societies: (1) serial polygamy,
that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and so on
any number of times; (2) a man married to one woman but
having and supporting one or more mistresses; (3) an
unmarried man having a number of mistresses. Islam
condones but discourages the first and forbids the other
two.
Wars
cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number
of men. In a monogamous society these women, left
without husbands or support, resort to prostitution,
illicit relationships with married men resulting in
illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part
of the father, or lonely sisterhood or widowhood.
The truth
of the matter is that monogamy
protects men,
allowing them to "play around" without
responsibility. Easy
birth control and easy legal abortion has opened the
door of illicit sex to woman and she has been lured into
the so-called sexual revolution.
But she is still the one who suffers the trauma of
abortion and the side effects of the birth control
methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease,
herpes and AIDS, the male continues to enjoy himself
free of worry. Men are the ones protected by monogamy
while women continue to be victims of men's desires.
Polygamy is very much opposed by the male dominated
society because it would force men to face up to
responsibility and fidelity.
It would force them to take responsibility for their
polygamous inclinations and would protect and provide
for women and children.
Among all
the polygamous societies in history there were none
which limited the number of wives. All of the
relationships were unrestricted. In Islam, the
regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of
wives a man can have while making him responsible for
all of the women involved.
"Marry
women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with
them, then only one
or one that your right hands possess. That will be more
suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice."
(Qur'an 4:3)
This
verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than
one woman but only if he can deal justly with them.
While the
provision for polygamy makes the social system flexible
enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not
necessarily recommended or preferred by Islam. Taking
the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
is instructive. He was married to one woman, Khadijah,
for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when
he had reached the age of fifty that he entered into
other marriages to promote friendships, create alliances
or to be an example of some lesson to the community;
also to show the Muslims how to treat their spouses
under different conditions of life.
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) was given inspiration from
Allah about how to deal with multiple marriages and the
difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy
matter for a man to handle two wives, two families, and
two households and still be just between the two. No man
of reasonable intelligence would enter into this
situation without a great deal of thought and very
compelling reasons (other than sexual).
The
bottom line in the marriage relationship is good
morality and happiness, creating a just and cohesive
society where the needs of men and women are well taken
care of. The present Western society, which permits free
sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an
abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an
abundance of "fatherless" children, many
unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the
country's welfare system.
In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given
rise to bloated budget deficits which even an
economically powerful country like the United States
cannot accommodate. Bloated budget deficits have become
a political football
which is affecting the political
system of the United States.
In short,
we find that artificially created monogamy has become a
factor in ruining the family structure, and the social,
economic and political systems of the country.
It must
be a prophet, and indeed it was Prophet Muhammad (peace
be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or
observe patience until one gets married. 'Abdullah b.
Mas'ud reported Allah's messenger as saying, "Young
man, those of you who can support a wife should marry,
for it keeps you from looking at strange women and
preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot
should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means
of suppressing sexual desire." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam
wants people to be married and to develop a good family
structure. Also Islam realizes the requirements of the
society and the individual in special circumstances
where polygamy can be the solution to problems.
Therefore, Islam has allowed polygamy, limiting the
number of wives to four, but does not require or even
recommend polygamy.
In the
Muslim societies of our times, polygamy is not
frequently practiced despite legal permission in many
countries. It appears that the American male is very
polygamous, getting away with not taking responsibility
for the families he should be responsible for.
-With the
increase of Gay people many women are left alone.
Islam takes care of
women’s needs lawfully.
-According to statistics, there
are more women than men, Women live longer than
men. Therefore: Women left
unmarried. Islam takes care of that.
Questions
Asked by Non-Muslim and Answer By
Yusuf Estes
"Man
can marry four - why not women marry four?"
Date:
Tuesday, March 02 @ 15:11:59 HST
Topic: Harsh Questions asked by Non-Muslims
From: Islam
Always .com
Bismillah Rahman Raheem
RE: Question - "Islam gives man
permission to marry four wives. Why can't a woman
have four husbands?
Answer
- Al Hamdulilah, was-salat
was-salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim.
(It is Allah who has All Knowledge).
Rights and Limits
First of
all, it is important for us to keep in mind that
Islam came to establish two very important
fundamentals for human beings:
Rights and Limits.
Everyone
and everything has certain rights given to it by the
Creator and Sustainer of the universe (Allah). At
the same time, each creation has its own limitations
established by Allah.
First
Right - Allah has the right to be
worshipped without making partners from what He has
created. Direct worship to Him, alone.
Second
Right - Prophet's right to be followed
according to his treaching and commandments.
Third
Right - Parents rights to be honored and
cared for, with special emphasis on the mother
first.
Fourth
Right - Wives and Husbands have rights on
each other.
Conditions 1,400 Years
Ago
Now let us
do some basic research here. We begin by looking
into the condition of the women in various societies
at the time 1,400 years ago when Allah revealed the
Quran to Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Pagan Arabs - Burying
Girls Alive
During that
time the pagan Arab men used to bury their newborn
daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having
something so low and disgusting like a girl instead
of a son. Women were treated horribly and with utter
disgust.
Men could
marry as many as they liked and very often they
owned women like cattle or sheep. There were no laws
to protect the women and they had no rights at all.
Christians - Arguing If
Women Had Souls
Christians
at that time were holding council meetings to
determine whether or not a woman even had a soul.
The church blamed "Eve" the mother of all
humans after Adam, peace be upon him, for the
"original sin" and damned her and her seed
for what she had done.
Priests - Best Men -
Forbidden Marriage - To Any Women
Priests,
bishops, cardnels and even the Pope are the very
best of the Catholic men within the church. Yet the
church still forbids their clergymen the chance for
marriage and families. This unnatural situation has
caused very serious ramifications throughout the
society around the world.
Nuns - Best Women - No
Marriage - No Children
Nuns are
the very best of the Catholic women. They cover
themselves in proper attire much the same way as the
Muslim women. Yet, they are never allowed to marry
or have children throughout their lives. This
unnatural condition has caused untold number of
disgraceful and disgusting practices within the very
church itself.
If Only Bad People Have
Children - What About Tomorrow?
We must ask
the question, "If the very best of the men and
the very best of the women are not allowed to marry
or have children - does this mean only the worst of
the people are the ones allowed to reproduce and
populate the world?" - And where will that
leave us tomorrow?
Jews - Blame Women and
Curse Women
The Jews
blamed women for the "original sin" and as
such they were treated with disgust. A woman's
monthly cycle was considered by the Old Testament of
the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her
inequities. Her child bearing pains were also a
'punishment from God' for her bringing man down from
heaven.
Islam - No Blame On
Women For Evil
Islam does
not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them accepted
their own mistake and repented to Allah, and asked
Allah to forgive them and Allah did forgive them.
Now before
going any further, please read surah An Nisa
(chapter 4 in the Quran) - all the way through, in
order to better understand what is actually being
said about women, men and marriage.
[Want
A FREE Quran? - click
here]
Read Quran
Now let us
think about the verses. Do you believe that Allah
Knows what He created and He has revealed the
perfect 'deen'? Do you know the condition of the
people at the time the order came to restrict the
number of wives? (Restricted to be only four)
Now read
the verse about having more than one wife, very
carefully. [4:3]
What does
it say? And what do you understand from it?
Now read
the ayah (verse) that forbids men to marry women who
are already married. [4:24].
Now read
from An Nisa (Chapter 4) about the role of men and
women. [4:34]
Man Supports And
Protects Women
Do you
understand that one must take on the role of
supporter, protector, provider, custodian and
servant to the family (man's role)?
Woman Gives Birth -
Raises Children
One must
take on the role of carrying the child and
delivering it and then feeding it and raising it to
become a true servant of Allah (woman's role).
Not Equal - But Treated
Fairly In Justice
Men and
women are not the same nor are they
"equal" as some folks would have us
believe. Whatever is on one side of an 'equals' sign
must be exactly the same as what is on the other
side without any difference in value, only in the
way that it is expressed. How then could we say that
a man, who is unable to conceive or give birth and
then breast feed a baby is the equal to a woman who
can?
Equal In Faith And
Actions
They are
equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But
still they are not the same as each other. Each one
must fulfill their role as humans.
Children's Rights
Protected
Islam is
also very much about rights. Children also have
rights in Islam. When a man dies his wealth is left
to his family. How could the court know who to give
the wealth of a man, if he was one of several
husbands to a woman? How would a child know who his
father was? No society ever supported the concept of
a woman being married to two or more men at the same
time.
Women's Right - Best
Treatment
Almost
every society supported the concept of a man having
more than one woman. Yet, they did not limit the
number nor did they provide the protection and
maintenance that Islam insists on for each one.
Islam came to set things straight. Women were given
rights. Men were strictly ordered to treat their
women with the very best of treatment.
Limit - Number in
Marriage
When the
verse was revealed the companions of Muhammad, peace
be upon him, did not run out with the attitude that
they were going to get four wives all of a sudden.
Some of them already had much more than that and
these men had to divorce their wives, if they had
more than four. So this was not an order to go out
and get four wives. It was an order to begin
limitations. And the first limitation was; No
more than four.
Limit - Equal
Maintenance and Treatment
Second, the
limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How
could a man keep more than one wife unless he was
exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly strong and
virile?
Next, the
limitation very clearly states; "..
but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly (with them) then only one ..."
Muslims Today - Most
Monogamous
Step by
step, the men of Islam have come to be known today
as the most monogamous of all men on earth (we only
have one wife). Check for yourself and see. In the
majority of all the Muslim homes on earth, a man
gets married once, to one woman and then he stays
married to her until the death of either himself or
his wife.
Woman's Right To Choose
Any Husband She Likes -
Even If He Is Already Married
One very
important point that is often overlooked by modern
society is the right that Islam gave to the women
that it does not give to the man. A man is limited
to marry only from the woman who is not already
married. Obviously, this provides rights for the
children and provides for them from inheritance from
the father. But Islam also permits the women to
marry a man who is already married to protect her in
a society where the number of women outnumbers the
population of men. Additionally, the woman has a
large selection of men to choose from. In fact, she
has the right to choose from any man in the
community as long as he does not already have four
wives. She also has the opportunity to see how the
other wife was being treated and go into a marriage
knowing exactly what to expect from her husband.
After all, he must treat her in the same way as he
is treating the other wife.
Women Need Husbands -
Allah Provided the Answer
The
prophet, peace be upon him, predicted that in the
Last Days the women would outnumber the men to a
great extent. Today we are seeing this become a
reality all over the world. Allah has already
provided for us for this occasion. After all, He is
the One who makes it all happen and He already knew
that many women would come into Islam in these days.
He also knew many of the Muslim men would be killed
or die at an early age, just as it is happening
these days. These women all need husbands. Allah has
given us the solution to all of life's problems.
Women's Right to Vote -
1,400 Years Ago
We might
add that Islam also gave the women full status as
citizens over 1,400 years ago by giving her to right
to speak and vote the same as anyone else. American
women had to take their cause to the streets with
"Women's Suffrage" and were not granted
the right to vote until just ninety years ago.
Women Keep Their
Identity - And Their Names
Additionally,
Islam protected women's rights to keep their
identity and they were not considered property of
some man. As such, they were no longer forced to
change their last names to be that of their
husbands. This is still the practice of Muslim women
today just as it was fourteen hundred years ago.
Women Keep Their
Property And Earnings - Men Must Share
Yet, at the
same time the western society is so concerned about
the way Islam demands that a couple be married, the
man actually must work instead of the woman; the
woman owns her own property without giving anything
for the support of the house or the child; a child
has the right to his or her own mother raising them
instead of a baby sitter or day care; father must
support his children; divorce is hated; and marriage
is sanctified.
West Can't Tolerate Man
And Woman - In Marriage
It is
strange isn't it, a society like America, has no
problem accepting sex without marriage;
homosexuality; same sex marriages; sex without
responsibility; children without fathers; and
divorces are more common place than the measles or
chicken pox. Yet, there is no tolerance for marriage
between a man and a woman if it is not on their
terms.
What Needs to Be
Re-evaluated?
Compare the
two for yourself and see which one needs correction.
We
will be waiting to hear from you. May Allah Bless
you all and increase you in all that is good, ameen.
Jazakumallahu
khairan was salam alaykum,
Yusuf Estes
National Muslim Chaplain
http://www.islamtomorrow.com/
For information on how priests and preachers are
coming to Islam: www.IslamTomorrow.com/yusuf
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